These Advice shared by My Dad Which Helped Us when I became a Brand-New Father

"In my view I was merely just surviving for twelve months."

Ex- reality TV personality Ryan Libbey expected to cope with the challenges of becoming a dad.

However the reality quickly turned out to be "very different" to what he pictured.

Serious health issues around the birth caused his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Abruptly he was forced into becoming her chief support while also caring for their baby boy Leo.

"I was doing all the nights, each diaper… every stroll. The duty of mother and father," Ryan stated.

Following eleven months he burnt out. That was when a talk with his father, on a public seat, that made him realise he needed help.

The straightforward phrases "You are not in a good spot. You must get assistance. In what way can I assist you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and start recovering.

His situation is commonplace, but seldom highlighted. While the public is now more accustomed to talking about the stress on moms and about post-natal depression, less is said about the difficulties fathers encounter.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to seek assistance

Ryan believes his challenges are part of a larger failure to talk between men, who still absorb damaging ideas of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just gets smashed and remains standing with each wave."

"It's not a sign of weakness to request help. I didn't do that fast enough," he adds.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher specialising in mental health surrounding childbirth, explains men can be reluctant to admit they're struggling.

They can think they are "not the right person to be asking for help" - most notably in front of a mother and child - but she emphasises their mental state is equally important to the household.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad provided him with the space to take a pause - going on a couple of days overseas, outside of the home environment, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he needed to make a shift to pay attention to his and his partner's emotions alongside the day-to-day duties of looking after a new baby.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd missed "what she was yearning" -reassuring touch and listening to her.

Reparenting yourself'

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan perceives being a dad.

He's now writing Leo weekly letters about his experiences as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he gets older.

Ryan thinks these will enable his son better understand the language of emotion and make sense of his decisions as a father.

The concept of "self-parenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since having his son Slimane, who is now four.

When he was young Stephen was without stable male parenting. Even with having an "incredible" relationship with his dad, profound difficult experiences meant his father found it hard to cope and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says repressing feelings caused him to make "terrible choices" when younger to alter how he was feeling, seeking comfort in alcohol and substances as a way out from the hurt.

"You find your way to things that aren't helpful," he says. "They may temporarily change how you are feeling, but they will in the end exacerbate the problem."

Tips for Getting By as a First-Time Parent

• Open up to someone - if you're feeling overwhelmed, tell a family member, your other half or a professional what you're going through. Doing so may to ease the pressure and make you feel more supported.
• Remember your hobbies - continue with the things that made you feel like you before the baby arrived. Examples include going for a run, seeing friends or a favourite hobby.
• Pay attention to the physical stuff - a good diet, physical activity and where possible, getting some sleep, all contribute in how your mind is faring.
• Spend time with other first-time fathers - sharing their journeys, the messy ones, along with the positive moments, can help to validate how you're feeling.
• Understand that seeking help isn't failing - taking care of you is the optimal method you can care for your household.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen understandably found it hard to accept the loss, having not spoken to him for a long time.

As a dad now, Stephen's determined not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his child and instead offer the security and emotional support he missed out on.

When his son threatens to have a meltdown, for example, they practise "shaking it out" together - expressing the emotions constructively.

Each of Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men due to the fact that they confronted their struggles, transformed how they talk, and figured out how to control themselves for their kids.

"I am now more capable of… processing things and handling things," explains Stephen.

"I wrote that in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan says. "I said, sometimes I feel like my purpose is to guide and direct you what to do, but actually, it's a two-way conversation. I am understanding an equal amount as you are in this journey."